My Epoch

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln

"Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age." -Jeanne Moreau

Yes, yes, after nearly a year of hiatus I am indeed posting a blog. I guess the question is, are there still readers? Do people still periodically check in to see if I have made a post? We shall see. We shall see.

This particular post will not act as a medium through which to catch up on the past nine months of my existence. That will come at a later date. Rather, I want to articulate the past few weeks; my epoch.

Life plays its cruel jokes on everyone, it just seems to us that some people are the brunt more than others. But is that a fair assessment? It appears that I have fallen pray to the paranoid delusions that are befitting of someone who would be longer in the tooth than I am. At the age of twenty-five, I am suffering what one might call a quarter-life crisis. I can not fully explain why I feel so strongly about it, but it has been my stern suspicion that turning twenty-five has ruined my life, and for reasons of a great variance.

One of the most incessantly nagging is that I am unsure that I have accomplished anything worth noting an eulogy thus far. I know, my eulogy is quite far into the not so distant future. But is that guaranteed? I can not shake the nagging feeling that I have wasted the past several years of my life. Perhaps I should have applied myself more in high school. Maybe the right path for me was to take up culinary arts school after graduation. Could the Army have been a big mistake or was it a necessary stepping stone? Does Disney and ISV really look that great on a resume? Have I truly gained anything that would be worth not getting through school quickly, settling down, and making a happy home? My life of no regrets is starting to fail me, and that is where I feel so ruined. The philosophies that serve as the very core of my being are being tested and I am realizing that there may be cracks in the foundation of my sole.

On the flip side, the lessons learned through all my experiences are invaluable pieces of knowledge that could not have been gained otherwise. I have matured and grown in ways that I never knew a person could. My summer in South America allotted me insight that I could not have found settled down in Pennsylvania, or anywhere else in the United States (those insights will filter through in the subsequent post). Disney lend me opportunities that thousands of people could only dream about. During both periods of time I met some of the most interesting, intriguing and amazing people. People I feel honored to know and call a friend. My choice to prolong school was beneficial because I had ample time to ponder my future. I knew that I had to choose carefully. If there is one decision that should not be an impulsive one, it is the decision of your future (unless, of course, you choose to be a stand up comedian). So why should I regret any of those choices?

My time in the military is dear to me. It was a time in my life where I was struggling to belong to something. My enlistment only quenched that thirst for a short period of time, because I realized that the something I wanted to belong to could not be found there. In some facets I still long to belong to something. I continue the quest to find what it is. Though, perhaps I already know the answer.