Ah Tuesday... One more day of classes down. This leaves me with a total of 5 class days left. So today I got up on time, not so eager to start the day but exactly dragging ass. Just kind of methodical like. I checked my downloads and found a billion pop-ups. Some how, some way spyware (the spawn of Satan [next to Wal*Mart]) found its way onto my computer. Well I will have none of it so I fixed that in a hurry. I went to grab a shower to discover that one of my sisters decided to take my time slot. I don't know what she was thinking. Why should this Tuesday be any different than the past 8 months of Tuesdays. She knew that I get a shower every Tuesday and Thursday at that time. Grr... So I marched my happy butt back to my room and got all my stuff ready for the day hoping to be able to spare a few minutes that I may be able to make it to IUP on time. After I was finally able to make it in the shower and get dressed I hurried on my merry little way. I get to IUP in time to see the scheduling coordinator, Maggie Babco, in the Office of Career Services about my internship and sophomore block. But I was unable to make it to see Steve Shirig, so I'll do that on Thursday. I did my usual class routine. Today in English we received our mid-term grades back (officially) I got a 95% (I tied for highest). The professor gave everyone in the class an upward curve of 5% points, so I ended up with a 100%. WOOHOO!! Other than that nothing exciting happened in class.

I find driving to be quite relaxing sometimes and a great opportunity to think and contemplate the happenings of one's life. So today on my way home I realized that I have been living in a fantasy world thinking that there are people who will be with you until the bitter end. I've always known this, and have unconsciously accepted it. It's the story of my life -- family & friends alike. People walk into my life with the goal of causing some kind of pain and once they achieve it they walk right on out as swiftly as they entered. This being one of the reasons that I fought so hard to keep people at bay and not allow them to climb the walls that I built. Lately tho it seems that I have blundered and let a small group of people in my walls. What they have done I can only describe as pillage and plunder what hope and faith I had left in people. I am quickly learning from my mistake though but I'm not so sure that I like that I am allowing these people to harden me any more than I already am. I don't like that I have come to the point that my happiness is being derived from that fact that I don't care and I don't have to care. Why should I care, it's obvious these people have no concern for the people they decide to walk all over and use for the time they infest their lives. Some of my happiest memories are being decayed by the fact that these people are in the memory. It's making me hollow. I can feel myself, everyday, becoming more empty. The only think I'm left with are lessons in life and living and the hope that these people are able to realize the pain they caused the people they walked on and feel slightly bad, but I highly doubt that will happen. People like that would never admit they were wrong. I'm tired of taking the blame for shit that isn't my fault. Which brings me to something else. I abhor it when someone (especially friends) blames me for something I didn't do and they simply refuse to believe that I'm innocent even though they know I couldn't be guilty. In the eyes of a Buddhist or Hindu, being cursed with friends like this, I must have been a terrible slug in my past life. =(