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Dustin's Diary

A look at the day's happenings and thoughts. ~Read at your own discretion. This blog is from the mind of the author and contains opinions that are of the author. It is no way endorced by any other company or any other body.

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Location: Rimersburg, Pennsylvania, United States

I am an enigma. A perfect right hand middle man living safely supported on the edge. Complicatedly simple or simply complicated, that's for you to decide. I lose the games I play & win the ones I don't. I'm not here to play games. I'm here, there, everywhere. Often I like to feel as if I'm the world. Other times I want to melt into the scenery. I see myself as a familiar stranger standing along the street as life speeds by. I like strangers & love my friends. I laugh when people fall but offer a helping hand. I hate people but love working with the public. The Constitution is wrong, all men are not created equal; they should be. I believe that not everyone has the same opportunities; it's what you do with the ones that lay before you that determine who you become. I like to walk. Running is too fast; but some roses are meant to be seen & not smelled. Time is an illusion created by man. I’ll create it for those who are willing to do the same. Your birthday is important to me & hope mine is to you. I tend to give more than I receive. Respect & appreciation are key. Conversation is a gold mine; knowledge is wealth & power. My intelligence is my most prized possession, don't insult it.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Wednesday, you know what that means. Tomorrow is my last day of classes. Yay.

I didn't do anything today except run to Clarion for a few tid-bits of odd and ends. Stuff I needed. Before I did that I did write a paper for English, that's due tomorrow. It turned out nice. It's going to be an "A" if I say so myself. I was in such a great mood this morning. I don't really know why I was, I just was. Danielled came over to my house and we went back to Clarion because she needed to go to Wal*Mart to buy socks. We then went to Arby's. I've not been in Arby's since Halloween and even then I hadn't been in there since I was wrongfully fired. I'm so proud of myself though. I knew I was illegally fired and fought it. Everyone told me that I shouldn't because they had every right to can me but I did it anyway. Guess what?!? I won. Yup, I was right. One can not be fired simply because they think you're a homosexual. So, I was in there. Everyone there is new. That place can't keep anyone because they fire everyone for dumb reasons or force them to quit. Oh well... that little empire that is Toby Food Group is slowly falling. =)

I'm done with classes tomorrow but some people still have a few weeks and so this is for them:

A year has past and now we stand on the brink of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything yet nothing being the same. In a few weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to the people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends. We will go back to places we came from and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before. We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even thought it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday.

As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become. You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand. Who will you call first? Where are you going to work? Who will be at the party Saturday night? What has everyone been up to? Who from school will you keep in touch with? How long before you actually start missing people bargaining in without calling or knocking? Who will get bread sticks with you at three in the morning? How long until you adjust to sleeping in a room by yourself, or how long before you realize your three best friends aren't in the bed next to your room?

Then you realize how much things have changed, you realize the hardest part of college is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends, walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:00 classes, and perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we have lived in it for nineteen years.

But it is different now... We now know the meaning of true friendship. We know whom we have kept in touch with over the past year and whom we hold dearest to our hearts. We've left our high school worlds to deal with the real world. We have had our hearts broken, we've fell in love, we've helped our best friends through the toughest times of their lives, something their even best friends at home couldn't be there for. We've stayed up all night just to be there for a friend. We've partied the night away, doing stupid stuff, but we were always there for each other afterwards. There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know our families or friends needed us most, and there are times when we know we have made a difference.

A few weeks from now we will leave. A few weeks from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random emails and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world.

A few weeks from now we will arrive. A few weeks from now we will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end. We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought us laughter and tears over the past year. We will unpack old memories and dreams that have been put away for the past year.

A few weeks from now we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close. And somehow, in some way, we will find our place between these two worlds.

In a few weeks.... are you ready?

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