Here it is 2:30 in the morn and I'm up and writing in my journal. Actually I just got home. I was out with Kacy for her birthday. Happy Birthday Kacy. I hope you had a great time, I did. Thanks for inviting me. I believe it was the first time I've been out since Halloween... yikes. I've decided that I need to go out more and I think I'm going to.

While out and about tonight I saw so many people that I haven't seen in ages. Tom for one... Tom truly is an interesting human being. I've never been able to figure him out and I don't think anyone ever will. He is definitely in a league of his own. Now Tom and I haven't talked for about two years thru no fault of my own and only thru his actions. He chose to let our friendship fade as he chose to let his friendship with Shawna & April end, rather abruptly, as a matter of fact. One day we woke up and Tom seemed to cease but tonight he decided to welcome himself back into the wonderful world of me. =P I don't want to get into the details of Tom's life because it's his and so not my place to be airing his laundry. After talking with Tom I now see that I'm not as bad off as I thought I was. I was thinking that I was so far behind in life and that I'm really not doing anything worth while or that my life would ever be envied. I now see that I am in a position where so many people wish they could be in. I'm not letting it go to my head, it's not that at all, it's just that I am becoming more appreciative of the things I have and I'm not just talking about materialistic things but education, family (the little I have), friends, goals, etc... It wasn't just Tom that I met tonight that brought all this to light. There was a girl, actually a girl that I met in the same manner that I met Tom, in Culinary Arts & Hospitality, and she as well expressed how good I'm doing and that I should be proud of myself and that I must be happy. Neither of them have gone anywhere or done anything with their lives past graduating. The girl is engaged and has a beautiful daughter of a year but gave up her college dream and her career wants for a boy. Tom gave everything up for a girl and now both regret it with all their heart, tho the girl is happy and says she plans on getting back on track. I'm happy for her. But this isn't about them it's about me and how they made me feel. I never thought about my happiness in my situation, past the point of that I'm content but striving. I didn't think that I should be happy just that I was. Looking at my life in comparison to many other lives, I don't have much room to complain. Let me say this tho... if April decides she wants to bless me with her friendship again I'll think she's gone mad... or that I have. I don't even want to touch that.

Isn't it ironic tho, how life works. I was trying to impress upon Daniel today how stressful and active a servers job is. While at the bar a friend leans over and says "I don't know how you were able to cocktail serve; putting up with all the drunks. Rough." Exactly; thank you. I served at a restaurant and at a bar; both places were rough. A server's work is never done. I thoroughly believe that servers do not get the appreciation they deserve. Working with the public in general is risky business but serving... serving is something that everyone should do to fully understand what they go thru. Give them their 20%! Most of them earn it or try too and remember you're not their only priority; they have other tables plus side work that you don't see. Odd tho how Daniel and I were having that discussion and then I go out and see how right I really was/am.

Other than going out I didn't do much today/yesterday. Got up... jogged... showered... ate... homework... errands... movie... Star Search then bar. That's my day in a nut shell.