Tid Bits

"Remember that if the opportunities for great deeds should never come, the opportunities for good deeds are renewed day by day. The thing for us to long for is the goodness, not the glory." -F.W. Faber

First let me bring up the obvious, I changed my blog style. I loved the other one but I got a few complaints on how hard it was to read. So when piddling with the html I decided to go all out and just change the whole thing and not one or two things. Tho I need to fix it because my profile is floating around the page. Stupid thing.

I'm back home from a weekend away. I again spent the weekend with Daniel. This weekend, however, we decided to stay in and just chill. So we watched a bunch of movies. I helped him with his homework. And we just spent time together. It was a good weekend.

I recently started reading the five people you meet in heaven I hope it's as good as I hear it is. So far it's not bad but I'm only a few chapters in. But tomorrow I'll probably end up finishing it. They made a movie about it and I thought about getting it yesterday but I decided on just reading the book first. It's usually better that way.

FYI

"Happy is he who dares courageously to defend what he loves." -Ovid

I've not got much to say tonight but felt it was my duty to write something. I've not really written anything worth reading in a while. Nothing that gives any insight to my life and what's going on. The reason for that being is simply that not much has changed and nothing new is really going on. My day to day life is pretty much the same thing. Drab and dreary. Boring. Though lately I am leaving the house more frequently for lengthier periods of time. The other day I took my little brother to a movie (Boogeyman) and then to Perkins for dinner. I like hanging out with him sometimes. I used to take them all (one-by-one) out at least once a week to do something. But that ended a long time ago. I would like to start that back up again, I think. This weekend I'm going to Daniel's. We didn't do anything last weekend. Our friendship is going well. I'm thankful that he and I were able to work things out and remain friends. The new job search continues and I'm about to get much more aggressive about it. The problem is this: I live in North Western PA, right where the snow belt and the lake effect cross, and it's February, plus I live in and am surrounded by college towns. No one's hiring. Maybe lower my standards a little. And that's about it... My life in a nut shell. I'll see you on Monday.

Attraction

You Are:

"it's a small world": The happiest cruise that ever sailed! Surreal and silly, or sweat and touching, you are a well intentioned 1960s homage to the world's diversity that unfortunatly inspires feelings of sheer terror in those who can't help but feel something more sinister lays beneath your shiney surface. But most cannot deny your charm, even if they cannot explain it, and leave feeling better than when they entered. Most overlook the fact that because of your unique style and design, courtesy of Disney Legend Mary Blair, you are a true work of art and you deserve to be appreciated. You are both worldy and simplistic, both cosmopolitan and decidedly middle American. You are a splendid candy-coated contradiction with a sugary, sunny
song that one never forgets. If the world truely listened to your never-ending optimism, it could be a small world after all.

What Disneyland attraction are you?

Oh The Snow

"Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow"

Oh, how I love the winter. Here's a photo of the woods outside my house. I'll never cease to be amazed at how wacky the weather can be. I get a blizzard where Daniel, who lives an hour or so south, gets massive rain. Strange.


The Woods.

Dedicated Readers

"Look into the others eyes, any frustrations Read between the lines, no words just vibrations Don't ignore hidden desires Pay attention, you're playing with fire. Silence must be heard!" ~I stole this from a friend's profile.

I just want to say this: It's important and essential to any relationship (friendship, courting, dating, marriage, etc...) to consider the other person's feelings. Sometimes it's easy to get so wrapped up in yourself that you just don't think. Then there are those who are so rude that they believe that it is not them that needs to get over themselves but they believe that it's person, who is the object of their rudeness, that needs to. How thick can you get?

Since I've started this journal I have monitored it's activity. Watching to see how often it gets visited, by whom, what pages they view, and all that jazz. Before I left for Disney I had some faithful dedicated readers and a few stragglers here and there. Then during my time in Florida I gained many more dedicated readers but lost some of the old ones (one in particular). After I've come I've noticed some severe fluctuations in number of hits per day. It's gotten as low as 7 and it hasn't been under 20 in nearly 9 months. I would like to say thank you to those who are faithful and dedicated readers. For the most part I know who you are. However there is someone who has been logging into my journal on daily basis for nearly 3 weeks now. But they're not only reading the current posts but they went back to the beginning and have been reading thru the archives. Now that is dedication to get to know someone... haha. This person logs on from rmu.edu which is Robert Morris University. So, Ms./Mr. Rmu.edu, why not leave me comment, send me an email, or IM me on AIM and let me know what's up. I don't bite, I promise. But I do like to lick... lol.

Tired

"Don't waste any time on anyone who isn't willing to waste any time on you"

I'm tired and I'm bored. I'm not talking about tonight at this very moment, I mean in general with everything. I'm too tired to keep struggling. Too tired to keep fighting. Too tired to keep being so stressed. Tired of feeling like I'm wasting my time. It's getting to the point where I need to make some serious decisions about my move. This weekend will make things clear... We'll see.

lady

___8___MMOOOOOOOO8888MOOO8888OOOOO888888888888OOOOOOOOMm8_____4 _______8MOOOOOOO8888MOOOOO888OOOOOOO88OOO8888888OOOOOOOOMm____2 ______88MMOOOOO8888MOOOOOOO88OOOOOOOO8OOOOO888888OOOMOOOOOM _____8888MOOOOO888MMOOOOOOOO8OOOOOOOOOOOMOOOO8888OOOOMOOOOM ____88888MOOOOO88OMOOOOOOOOOO8OOOOOOOOOOOMOOO8888OOOOOOMOOM ___88_888MMOOO888OMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMO8888OOOOOOOOOMO ___8_88888MOOO88OOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMO88OOOOOOOOOOOOM _____88888MOOO88OOMOOOOOOOOOO*88*OOOOOOOOOOMO88OOOOOOOOOOOOOOM ____888888MOOO88OOMOOOOOOOOO88@@88OOOOOOOOOMOO88OOOOOOOOOOOOOOM ____888888MMOO88OOMMOOOOOOOO88@@88OOOOOOOOOMOOO8OOOOOOOOOOOOOO*8 ____88888__MOOO8OOMMOOOOOOOOO*88*OOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO88@@ ____8888___MMOOOOOOMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO88@ _____888____MOOOOOOOMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*8 _____888____MMOOOOOOOMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMOOOMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM ______88_____MOOOOOOOOMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMOOOOOMMOOOOOOOOOOOOMM ______88____MMOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOMMMOOOOOOOOMMM ________88____MMOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM _________88___8MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM __________8___88MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOMOOOOOOOOMM ______________888MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMOOOOOOMMOOOOOOMM _____________88888MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMOOOOOOOmMOOOOOMM _____________888888MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMOOOOOOOOOMMMOOOM ____________88888888MMOOOOOOOOOOOMMMOOOOOOOOOOOMMOOOM ___________88_8888888MOOOOOOOOOMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOM ___________8__888888_MOOOOOOOMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOMO ______________888888_MOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOMM _____________888888__MOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOM _____________888888__MOOOOOMOOOOOOOOO@OOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOM _____________88888___MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO@@OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOM ____________88888___MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO@@@OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOM ___________88888___MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO@@OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOM __________88888___MOOOOOmOOOOOOOOOO@OOOOOOOOOOMmOOOOOOOMOOOM __________8888___MOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMOOOOOOOMOOOM _________8888___MOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMOOOOOOOOMOOOM ________888____MOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMOOOOOOOOOMOOOOM ______8888____MMOOOOMmOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMOOOOOOOOOmOOmOOOM ____888______MOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOmmOOOM __8888_______MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOmMOOMMOOOMO _____________MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOmMOOMMOOOMm ____________MMOOOOOOmOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOMMOOOMM ___________MOOOOOOOOOOOO8888888888MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMOOMM ___________MOOOOOOOOOOOOO88888888MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOMM ___________MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO888888MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOMM ___________MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO88888MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOMM ___________MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO88MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ___________MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ___________MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ____________MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ____________MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM _____________MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM _____________MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ______________MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ______________MMOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM _______________MOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM _______________MMOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ________________MOOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM ________________MMOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM _________________MMOOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM _________________MMOOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM __________________MMOOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM __________________MMOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ___________________MMOOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ___________________MMOMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ___________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ____________________MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM _____________________MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ____________________MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ____________________MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM ____________________MMOOOOMOOOOOOOOOMMMO ____________________mMMOOOOMMOOOOOOOMMMM _____________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOMMMOM _____________________mMMOOOMOOOOOOOMOMOM ______________________MMOOMMMMOOOOOOOMOM ______________________MMOOMMMOOOOOOOOMOM ______________________mMMOOMMOOOOOOOOMOM _______________________MMOOMMOOOOOOOOOMOM _______________________MMOOMMOOOOOOOOOOMOm _______________________MMOOOMOOOOOOOOOOOMM _______________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMO _______________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMO _______________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM _______________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM _______________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMm ________________________MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM ________________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM ________________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM ________________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM ________________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM _________________________MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM _________________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM _________________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM _________________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOMM __________________________MMOOOOOOOOOOOOMM __________________________MMOOOOOOOOOOOOMM __________________________MMOOOOOOOOOOOMM __________________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOMM __________________________MMMOOOOOOOOOOMM ___________________________MMOOOOOOOOOMM ___________________________MMMOOOOOOOOMM ___________________________MMMOOOOOOOOMM ____________________________MMOOOOOOOOMM ____________________________MMMOOOOOOMM ____________________________MMMOOOOOOMM _____________________________MMOOOOOOMM _____________________________MMOOOOOOMM ______________________________MMOOOOOMM ______________________________MMOOOOOMMO ______________________________MMOOOOOM

Silly Quizes

I love silly quizes especially when I'm bored out of my mind. I just figured I'd post my results for all to see how lame I truly am. lol


Which Family Guy character are you?

My Purity

So today I was bored out of my mind and took a purity test. My results are displayed in the chart below. Ugh... I'm a dirty one.

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	38.3% When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself	65.1%
Shamelessness	38.1% Puts 'em on the glass	79.3%
Sex Drive	34.2% I got needs, baby, you gotta unnastan'!	77.6%
Straightness	19.6% Knows the other body type like a map	44.5%
Gayness	0% Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame	83.8%
Fucking Sick	69.9% Dipped into depravity	90%
You are 36.57% pure Average Score: 72.6%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

Oh The Weekend

"Love is big, a bright light in the universe and a bright light casts a big
shadow." ~Joan of Arcadia

Happy Heart Day!

I didn't do much else last week since I had posted. But on Saturday morning I drove to Greensburg so that Daniel and I could go to Seven Springs skiing. While I was at his place waiting for him to get ready his grandma and sister showed up to visit. It was nice to finally meet them. I've heard a lot about them but just had never met them. After they left we headed to the store so I could purchase some ski equipment and then headed up the mountain. Skiing was quite the adventure. The first trip down the mountain I only fell a few times at the top and made it the rest of the way down unspoiled. The second time down I only fell once and that was at the very end when I was trying to stop. haha At that point I was in tired and my feet hurt. I should have rested but I pressed on and pushed myself. So then I just kept falling, a lot. Then Daniel and I took a break and rested at the lodge before heading back up. We ended up not finishing out the night on the mountain because I had twisted my knee and caused some serious pain. On the way home we got a pizza from Pizza Hut. Bed time soon followed, I was exhausted. Sunday was a late wake time. Daniel and I watched a movie and just hung out around the house before he had to head to Joe's (which he ended up not going) and I headed home. And that is all the excitement I've had since I've last posted.

I have something I'd like to let everyone know. I'm sure many of you already know this because it is rather common sense and I'm sure it insults many of you as well. Is it not irritating when you're talking to someone and in the middle of a sentence they make a phone call (not answer but actually dial and make it) or walk out of the room while you're talking? I get so frustrated with people when they do that. Makes me feel unimportant. I expect the same amount of respect from all my friends whether they're newly founded or firmly established. Rudeness is just something that I can't tolerate and won't.

Unlearned

"There are many ways to measure success; not the least of which is the way your child describes you when talking to a friend."

As we grow as human beings we encounter situations in our day to day life that teach us valuable lessons that me can and must later use in life, when we are faced with a choice. It is then that we show others exactly what we've learned and who we are as a person. It never ceases to amaze me how two people can derive two different lessons from the same situation. But then a current lesson is only a derivative of previous lessons therefore only enhance the person we've decided to become.

There are some lessons that are not only learned by way of experience but by directly being taught. These lessons are simple ones and they include but are not limited to sharing, helping, courteousness, kindness, apologizing, and honesty. Yet, the simplest of lessons are the hardest for some people to learn. Grasping such things seems to be way beyond their ability to function as an individual. Basic human emotions such as compassion, friendship, caring, and kindness also fall just beyond the comprehension of people, no matter what trials occur.

Every choice you make ends in a lesson. What lessons have you learned that make you a better person? What lessons have you learned that has had a negative effect? What lessons have you long forgotten? It's never too late to re-evaluate yourself. It's also never to too late to try and fix any mistakes that you may have had made as a result of those lessons.

Working Out

"The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps - We must step up the stairs." ~Vance Havne

I actually have something to post that goes along with the quote I used today. For a great deal of my life I've wanted to have a better body, I just never had the ambition to do what I needed to do to have it. When I joined the Army I actually attained some tone and definition I was very proud of and when I came home I kept up the work out so that I could keep and better it. But I eventually lost the drive. If I don't have someone to keep me motivated then I'm doomed. My apartment in FL was right beside the fitness room and the pool so I had no excuse to not utilize them. Well I took advantage of the pool as my pictures prove, however, I did not use the fitness as much as I should have or would have liked. I needed motivation. I have a goal and a vision set but don't want to take the initiative. Well for the past two weeks that's changed. I got up one morning and decided that was the day. I did a 3 mile run to come home and do a work out. I jumped right into doing 50 sit-up and 50 push-ups every morning after my run and every night before my evening shower. As of yesterday I've upped them to 75 each every morning and night. There are a few other exercises I do as well. Things I learned in the military. I'm already noticing a slight difference but then when one doesn't have a lot of body fat to burn off it wouldn't take long to see a little something. =)

In my last post I had mentioned something about giving up. I just want to clarify what I was talking about. When I was in FL I had thought about giving up on my relationship but I didn't. I thought about quitting the program to come home so that I didn't have to give-up my relationship (there were other reasons as well) but I didn't. Since I've come there were a few times where I just wanted to give up on friendships and relationships with certain people but so far I've not. The thing that I was contemplating giving up on was trying to maintain anything with Daniel but I have not and will not. No matter how much I say I want to the truth is - I don't want to. It was just that Daniel and I had the worst fight we have ever had on Saturday and by that I mean some very nasty things were said. However we have talked since then and things seem to be going very well now. Things seem to be working out. Hopefully they continue to do such.

Things are looking up again. Hopefully they don't all blow up in my face like they did that last time -- like they usually do. By things I don't just mean with Daniel but I mean life in general. Tomorrow I am heading to Butler. I have finally decided on what it is exactly that I need and want to do. I want to move closer to Pittsburgh and to school so that means that I need to get a job closer to those areas as well. So I'm leaving the Clarion jobs behind and will commute to work for a little while until I can find a place to live. I think this move will benefit me in many ways. It will be a good thing. Hopefully it all works out as planned.

At A Loss

"A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." -Walter Bagehot

I'm just at a complete loss for words right now. I have so much to say yet don't know what to say or how to say it. Things just never seem to go the way that they should go and rarely go the way I'd like them go (even if it's the right way).

Why is it that when everything starts looking up and going my way that something has to go wrong? The Newton's third law (for every action there is a reaction) happens and something else goes wrong. A whole chain of events. I must have been a real bastard in my past life for karma to be kicking me so hard in this one.

How is is that people can get so angry at other's over something that truly isn't their fault? Why is it that when I try and do right, it blows up in my face and I get shit on? Why is it that I can never get recognition for the little things that I do? For the efforts that I put forth? What is it that I need to do? It appears that I've done enough.

Have you ever realized that you made the biggest mistake of your life and there is nothing you can do about it, and you feel absolutely horrible for it? Now have you ever changed your mind about it and realize that, yes it was the big mistake, but you don't feel bad about it anymore? I guess I'm reaching that point.

How does one go on after the realization that they lost the most important thing in their life? A huge part of their reason for living. The cliche answer is time. But time is not always the best answer nor is it always the right answer. Time neither heals nor fixes anything. It only buries things deep inside where they lay dormant awaiting to be rediscovered. Loss isn't something that gets easier. You just learn to deal until the next loss and then you go back to dwelling on previous losses. This isn't exclusive to loss in the form of death either.

When there's a break-up you hear people say all the time "Oh it's their loss not yours". Generally this is true, however, there are times when it's not true, just as there are times when both sides have lost something. It's in those instances that I find are the saddest cases of loss. Especially if it can be seen by either person or by both sides but pride gets in the way of reclaiming the desires of the heart.

Why is it that happiness requires sacrifice? Is that true happiness then? Because you don't have everything you want, but then not everything you want will make you happy. However isn't happiness worth fighting for? I think so. But how much can one person take? How fight is too much. I guess I now know.

Giving up has never been an option for me in anything. But as of late I've thought about it for several things. I'm truly thinking about it now.

Good Choices

"'What makes a man a man?', a Friend of mine once wondered. Is it his origins? The way he comes to life? I don't think so. It's the choices he makes. Not how he starts things but how he decides to end them." ~Rupert Evans (Hellboy)

I just can not express enough how important the decisions we make truly are. There are times in your life when you may think that you don't have a choice but in actuality you do have a choice - life itself is a choice. You choose everyday to get up and to stay alive. That is an important decision. Compared to that other decisions may seem minute but they are of no lesser importance or value. Evey decision you make effects you, your life, and the rest of the world. I just ask that you make good choices. Sometimes the good choice isn't always the right choice.