Fillin It In

I have been busy for the past couple of days. Here it is Friday and I've not posted since Sunday. I'm not entirely sure what all I've done this week other than be trained in the fine arts that is Walt Disney Merchandise. Oh the fun and joy. Monday and Tuesday I worked at Imagination (home of Figment). I also worked at Living Seas on Tuesday. Yesterday I worked at MouseGear. Today is something different all together. I am training to oversee the entire North West quadrant of EPCOT. This should be interesting. I went to Pleasure Island on Monday night with my new friends Grace & Roz. Then last night I went to Pleasure Island with my new friend Sean. I met Sean at Living Seas. I met Grace on my Discovery Day and met Roz thru her. I've also been hanging out with the girls that live in the apartment above me and the girls who live in the apartment across from me. What can I say - The girls love me. My roommates are hating it, LOL. I got up early this morning so Roz and I could go to the bank to cash our paychecks and then to watch a movie before I have to head into work. We might not get to the movie but that's alright because I'll have money. FINALLY!

I have so much I have to buy. I need so much personal hygiene products, it's ridiculous. It's amazing the things one forgets when packing for an extended stay somewhere. I have the essentials but not everything I'd like to have. I also need to buy some new sandals, white shoes, more socks, and food. Plus, I need a haircut. I'm sure I'm leaving out a ton that's why I need to make a list tomorrow before I head out to Wal*Mart. Ugh... I the Wal*Mart. The Rescue Rangers from EPCOT all go out on Friday nights to a little diner where they do some Disney Networking and relay any and all information about the park happenings and it's a nice little bonding experience. I'm not sure if I want to go. I probably will. I need to go out as much as possible. I have to keep my mind off everything and everyone back home. I miss you all. I hope you are all doing ok. Lotsa Love to everyone. I LOVE YOU, the most, POOKIE.



My horoscope for today:

Perfectionists are never satisfied. Superheroes are modest because their accomplishments don't seem like such a big deal to them. What looks impossible to others is all in a day's work for you. Ask them to hold their applause and just throw money, since that would be a lot more useful. Powerful efforts result in powerful appetites, and you have some personal business on the agenda after you're all done saving the world. Your idea of fun might also be a little different from everyone else's. Let them try to stop you if they don't think that you deserve this little reward.

Burnt

I got a sun burn today... ouch. My neck is soo red. My room mate and I went to Disney-MGM Studios for Star Wars Weekend. While I was there I stood in line forever to get Jerome Blake and Peter Mayhew's autographs. While there I also hit up Eeyore, Jedi Mickey & Queen Amidala for one as well. =P As you guessed I had today off and just spent the day there. I only rode one ride, The Star Wars Adventure. It was really good. I also played Who Wants to Be A Millionaire.

We went to The Magic Kingdom last night. I did Space Mountain 3 times, The Haunted Mansion and The Buzz LightYear Adventure twice. We also watched the parade and the light show. So much going on every night. So much to do. We have decided to pace our selves because we're going to be here for awhile. Tomorrow night we're planning on going to Pleasure Island. =) Party Block.


Let me tell you about my roommates. One is cool and I love hanging with him. He's from Baton Rouge. He's fun to hang with but he's afraid of heights. One is from Boston is ok. He has a few things that get on my nerves a little. He's an electronic junkie. I spent the day with him today in hopes to achieve a "roomie bond". The other is from Wisconsin is the most annoying. He's the jock type and all he wants to talk about is sports and getting laid by the lady's. But I'm sure that I have qualities that get on their nerves as well. Hopefully time will teach is all how to deal or iron them out. We're are still in the first week of our living together so... I' sure we'll move on.

I am, however, making a load of friends. Everytime I turn around I have another and from all over the world. I made one from England yesterday, as well as Portugal and Canada. Working at EPCOT I'll be able to make more from other parts of the world. I'm gonna be coming home with all kinds of odd accents and slang. =P

I miss everyone back home tho... nothing compares to my old friends. I miss you all.

Back... kinda

Hey all!! I'm finally able to write an entry and I wanted to communicate to everyone about my first few days here. I'm having a good time so far... guarenteed to get better. Today I became an official member of the Experimental Prototype Community of tomorrow (EPCOT). YAY. I had the most exciting day since I got here. My apartment is awesome and I love it. I rode my first ride today: Spaceship Earth... it was part of our tour. It was beautiful. I enjoyed it and will definitely ride it again before I leave here (I have 7 months..hehe) I received some of my costumes today. I'll have many more as my 3 weeks of training goes on. I went to Pleasure Island on Thursday. That was fun. I had a good time but I miss my baby and that increased it. =( The big downside of being here is just that, I miss the people I love. Mom, Daniel and Kacy have all decided to come see me at some point while I'm here. I was able to get two free tickets (for mom & Daniel). So when they get here they will only have limited expenses. Well my roommates and I are heading out to The Magic Kingdom. I miss you and love you all.

And we have lift off.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller

Here we are - the day of departure. I'm all packed, dressed and ready to go. I've not waken Daniel yet. It took him a long time to fall into a peaceful slumber and I don't want to arouse him any earlier than need be.

~Yesterday~

We and I went out for lunch and we saw Van Helsing. Our last movie for a while. While out I saw a few "kids" from my graduating class and my favorite English teacher of all time. She's fantastic. We came home so I could pack while he worked on homework (summer classes). Then we settled in for a movie we rented The Bourne Identity. We saw a preview for the second before our movie at the theatre and wanted to refresh our minds on the first one. =P

~Today~

I've said my good byes to almost everyone. Chanelle left for school about a half hour ago without saying a word. Ryan and Danielle just left for school and both came in to say bye. For the first time it's REALLY hitting me that I'm leaving. This is it. Today is the day. This is the first time that I truly was out on my own. The Army differed. There I had someone telling me the who, what, where, when and how, but now it's all up to me. I am in charge of feeding myself, getting to be where I need to be when I need to be there and remembering when to do it. In the Army I wasn't required to think just listen and follow, but now I have to think 100% for myself. It kind of scares me but not only because of the responsibility (I welcome some of that) but because I'm starting over with no one else. I'll be completely amongst strangers and have to decide who will be worth making friends with. That'll be the hardest part - being able to separate myself from my old environment, letting go of my old friends (I mean... not dwelling on missing then everyday) and creating new friendships that are only going to last a few months. I don't have the capability to do that so easily. I will miss everyone. I probably will not be online for a few days - until I can get settled in so... wish me luck.


My horoscope for the day...

It's all about big fun and major change here in your neighborhood. Go ahead and have the time of your life. You deserve to be the guest of honor at this party if anyone does. Throughout all this, keep your head clear enough to respect other people's boundaries. You understand that your ideas aren't for everyone. As a well-balanced, deeply caring individual, love informs your actions. But there's nothing overwhelming or proprietary about this feeling. When you're at peace with your world, you keep your attitude playful. There's no pressure.

2 more days

If you have not often felt the joy of doing a kind act, you have neglected much, and most of all yourself. - A. Neilen

Just thought that I would share with you my horoscope for the day. At this point it is representative on how I'm feeling about my life right now and my thoughts on my going to Orlando. On one hand I'm excited and very lucky to have the chance to have this experience. But I am scared. 2 more days

You're talking a lot, but there's a reason. Bitter words or sharp humor seem to cut deeply. However, these rhetorical tools are keeping you from doing something that you might regret. Others notice that you're acting out of character. While dissonance is disturbing, you can't prevent the inevitable by hiding from it. Take responsibility for your own life and hope for the best. Once this whole thing irons itself out, you'll be amazed by all that you were able to accomplish. Such things might never have been possible under normal conditions. In time you'll be grateful for this opportunity.

Wonders

I just want to share something with you:


We all know the Seven World Wonders as being the following:
1. The Great Pyramid of Giza
2. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon
3. The Statue of Zeus at Olympia
4. The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus
5. The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus
6. The Colossus of Rhodes
7. The Lighthouse of Alexandria


A group of students were asked to list the Seven World Wonders and listed the following:
1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peters Basilica
7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that
one student had not finished her paper yet.
So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list.

The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite
make up my mind because there were so many."

The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and
maybe we can help." The girl hesitated, then read,

"I think the Seven World Wonders are:
1. To See
2. To Hear
3. To Touch
4. To Taste
5. To Feel
6. To Laugh
7. And to Love."

The things we overlook and that we take for granted are truly wondrous!

4 days

4 more days and I'll be in Orlando. As the days quickly go by I get more and more anxious.

Today I stayed home but talked to Shawna for hours, a couple of times. I made plans with Kacy to see a movie tomorrow and made plans with Daniel on Sunday. Other than that not much else happened. I'm way too tired to even think deeply. =P

Night Folks.

5 days and counting

"Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must first be overcome." - Samuel Johnson

So here it is, 5 days before my departure. It's starting to really hit me. As Tuesday quickly approaches I'm beginning to feel it -- the pressure, anxiety, nervousness, and fear. The excitement I once was feeling is fading. My plan is becoming to immerse myself into as much work and activity as I possibly can for a few weeks in order to not allow myself to notice where I am and what I'm doing. This will allow myself to become adapted to my new environment and surroundings more easily. This really is a great opportunity that just can't pass up. Besides, it's way too late to back out now. =P I still really want to go -- just nervousness, that's all.

Today I had gotten up later than usual but the extra sleep felt good. I quickly grabbed a shower and got dressed in order to go to the bank. After my shower mom asked if I wanted her to just stop by my bank while she was in Clarion. Sure, why not... saves me time and gas (gas=money). =P So then I was at a loss on what to do. I couldn't very well finish cleaning my room. I had already gotten a shower and was dressed in going out into public attire, so I made sure that I had everything on the "bring with you" list that Disney provided me. I have most of the stuff. I must remember to buy a new digital camera this weekend -- or else film for the old fashioned one and just buy a new one when I get to Orlando. Oh, the decisions. So tomorrow I plan on calling Shawna to see if she'd be able to and would like to hang out. We need to get some quality time in. I also need to get some time in with Kacy. I'm hoping to hang with her on Saturday. We'll see... I'll ask her tomorrow. ~Anyway~ Nothing big happened today. My day was slow and uneventful.

What happened to spring? Have we lost two of the four seasons? I don't recall having much of a fall and now we were screwed over on our spring. What happened to our "happy medium" seasons to allow our bodies and minds a gradual adaptation to the two more harsh seasons?!? Mother Nature is out to get us -- I know it. =P

Well - again I thought I would share with you my horoscope for the day.

There's a lot churning inside you, just waiting to come out. Express yourself powerfully in the medium that works best for you. Maybe there's finally time to put your ideas in writing. Maybe the spoken word provides that immediate connection between the thing itself and the name of the thing. When you raise your voice, the tone is as effective as the message. People are moved by the strength of your emotions. There are forces in play that might surprise even you. Clearly you're the conduit for something bigger. Awareness of your awesome potential redefines you.

Music Within

Today I started to put the finishing touches on my room. I'm almost done with cleaning and reorganizing it for my departure. I'll finish it tomorrow. While cleaning out my book case I found a ton of stuff that I forgot I put in it. It was such a mess and so disorganized. So many memories, both remembered and forgotten were found and thrown away, to be forever lost. Some memories just aren't worth holding to and it's important for us to figure which ones are and which ones aren't. One must choose carefully. I do have a memory drawer that I really should throw away. Nothing in it holds severe importance but it's hard for me to throw away such things. Maybe tomorrow I'll gain the courage to be rid of it.

I watched Oprah today. I do lover her (not as much as Ellen, though). =P Her show today was about children that felt they were transgendered. Young children ranging from 5-11. Amazing. The torture these children must go through has got to be astounding. The suicide rates amongst such children is quoted at being one of the highest and I understand why. The criticism and ostracism these children feel especially from their parents and loved ones. They are strong individuals for taking the step to tell open up about it especially at such young ages. You might ask how they could possibly know such things at such an age -- don't you think you would know if you were stuck in the wrong body? I hope that people gathered from her show that everyone has their own story. Everyone's life is set to a unique set of music and is just as beautiful as the next persons. To appreciate other's inner beauty and to be able to hear the music of their life we must first see and hear our own with great clarity and accept it. We must all be allowed to embrace ourselves for we are. The people that have trouble with allowing and accepting others truly have trouble with themselves and aren't comfortable with themselves yet. Human harmony is a work in progress that'll never be complete.

I was hoping to place the lyrics of a song here. A song that I think fit the theme of this post. I looked everywhere and couldn't find them and I do not have the time to sit here and listen and type. Trust me though you should hear the song. Find it and download it. The Music Within by Michael McLean from the Rigoletto sound track. But I promise to keep looking for the lyrics and will post them when I find them.

Fighting for Good

I got up early today. It was so hot in my room and between the heat and my cat I was unable to sleep past 8. So up and about I was. I got up, got a shower and put some laundry in. After washing two loads I headed to Du Bois to purchase my ticket to Florida. YAY. I'm off in less than a week. In many ways I'm excited and in a few I'm not ready. Other than that I didn't do anything else.

I watched the news today and all over it was the story about the American guy who was decapitated on a Islamic site. Nasty. I agree that the American soldiers should not have mistreated the Islamic prisoners but they weren't slaughtered. What is this world coming to? I fear the war in Iraq is just beginning. We'll see... we'll see.

It's like in the great stories, Mr Frodo. The one's that really matter; full of darkness and danger they were. Sometimes you don't want to know the end because how can the end be happy? How can the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, the shadow. Even darkness must pass. The day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out he clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something. Even if you were to small to understand why. I think, Mr. Frodo I do understand. I know now. The folk in those stories had lotsa chances to turn back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something -- there is some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.

Catching You Up

Ok... so first let's note the obvious. I changed the lay out of my blog once again. I generally like it but I am having trouble with placing the links that I want on it. I would like to re link the pages that I had before but I can't. DAMN IT!! Second is that I haven't posted in a few days. Sorry 'bout that. Daniel was here. I feel rude sitting on the computer for extended periods of time when I have company.

Let me catch you up. We didn't go to Kennywood this weekend as planned Instead we went to Butler shopping with my mommy. My mommy got a beautiful dress. Then we went to E&P for food. I got chicken noodle soup - yummy. Then we came home. Sunday I spent with my mom. Daniel and I ran to Clarion so I could get my mom some fresh flowers. =0) Pretty. Daniel wanted to watch The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Resolutions -- so we did. Then we settled in for the finale of Survivor. Though I get so angered by the show and it pisses me off I must say that I am glad that Rob didn't get the million. He's an ass.

Then today we didn't do anything, just relaxed and hung out with my mommy and played with my nephew. I love kids. Daniel went home this evening. I'll see him one more time before I leave.

Tomorrow I need to go to Du Bois to purchase my ticket for Florida. I have 7 days left. On week and I'll be on my way. I'm getting anxious.

Nothing

Nothing really happened today. Daniel and I got up and went out for lunch but we ate breakfast. =oP Then we went back to Clarion to see Mean Girls in theatre. After that... nothing just relaxation and quality time. We then came home and watched Die Another Day. We're suppsosed to go Kennywood tomorrow... we'll see... we'll see.

Donnie Darko

So, I sit here after just watching Donnie Darko, again. The first time you see the movie nothing seems to make sense until the end when you realize the significance that everything within the movie has. I believe that every movie watched affects every viewer differently but within a certain guideline. I don't think this movie was intended to surface and specific thoughts or feelings. I think that it's just to allow the viewer to think beyond the horizons of normality and everyday thoughts and feelings.

I come out of the movie with many feelings and thoughts on life. I think it shows that not everything is at it seems -- that we shouldn't take what we see as truth and gospel. Look beyond what is in front of you into the beauty or ugliness that is a possibility within us all. The beauty may not be obvious but it's there -- somewhere.

I come out of the movie with the feeling of existentialism. The movie definitely has an existential feel to it. The feeling of Dasien. Everything thing that lives must die and will die at certain point. Whether or not that point of time is predetermined is of great importance to the movie and the thought behind the belief system of this movie. I now realize that every strand of time and space is interconnected with every other strand of time and space. One thread affects every other thread. My existence alters your existence and your existence alters their existence and so forth. My mere existence alters the world's existence. Since I was born someone else won't be but because I was born someone else was or will be born.

The choices we make in life are not only important to ourselves but everyone else as well -- especially the people that are closest to us. Each choice is connected to the next and has a direct impact on how the course of our life. You can't go back and change a choice so each choice should be made with great care without haste yet it's impossible to know, sometimes, which choice is the best because of our inability to see the future and how our choice will affect us. In the end we realize that if we could go back and change our choices -- to stop all the hurt -- then we would be (in a way) be committing a form of suicide.

After seeing this movie again I have now become addicted to it and very much recommend it to everyone who has appreciation for a good movie. The trick is to make it through it the first time and have the will to watch it again. Trust me, you'll like it much better and will appreciate it more.


~*~Mad World~*~
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where
Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one new me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world

Today was a day of nothingness. I didn't do anything... I didn't go anywhere. I stayed home. I organized my room a little more in preparing it for my departure. Matt brought his dad's computer over so I worked on that for a few hours and fixed that. That was exciting (sense the sarcasm?). I'm so not a computer person and don't really get all that excited about random stuff like that. Other than that I didn't do anything. I just relaxed.

I don't really have any pearls of wisdom to share or any deep feelings that need unloaded. I'm good. I think I'll just share with you my horoscope for today:

Capricorn ~ What's all the fuss about, anyway? You're just doing your job, same as always. How remarkable can that be? Others seem to think that you're special, though. Being at the center of their attention can be exhausting, even when it's nothing but good energy. Praise empowers you despite your modest protest. But you can't just sit around soaking it all up. Soon you'll have to politely excuse yourself and go back to doing what should be done. By that gesture alone, it's clear that you're not in this for the instant gratification. Sincere motives always earn extra points.

That they do. =oP

Last Day

That's it... no more classes or tests. Today was my last two finals for the semester. YAY. They were educational Psychology and Communications Media. I think I did alright. I'm sure I at least got a "B" on the psych and an "A" on the Comm. Which isn't bad for not having Comm for 3 weeks and not having Psych for 2 weeks. Of course I did no studying. I've never been one for studying and yet do very well on exams. I either get it or I don't and not amount of studying is going to put it into my head. When I did try to study it just confused me and I messed stuff up because I second guess myself by thinking I heard something different than what I wrote and read even if I wrote word for word what was said. I was never taught studying techniques in school and that could be a big reason for my inability to study. But then if I don't have the need to then why bother. =oP

Leaving the psych exam I walked Krista to her car. I'm going to miss her and Kristen (I know a lot of girls who are named Kristen, Krista, Jenn or Jess). They made class fun. What a blast I had. They made it worth going to. They told me today that if not for me then they would not have enjoyed the class. Apparently I'm a funny guy. =0) I enjoy making people laugh.

After my Comm exam I walked Ashley to her car. Where we stood and talked for about a half hour. She's fun. I enjoyed her company through out class. She was in one of my classes last semester, too. Maybe she'll be in one next spring (since I'm not going to be on campus in the fall). We're the same major so it's a possibility.

A few of my friends are graduating this semester so they'll be gone when I return. That'll make it a bit more lonely but I have their contact info so I can stay in touch. =0)

2 weeks before I arrive in Orlando. I am so excited about getting there. I can't wait, yet I maintain some anguish about leaving. I just hope that the 2 weeks that I have left is enough to finish everything I need to finish and get everything prepared for 8 month "vacation" from PA.

To sleep I go. Tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning as well as an end as I say goodbye to Kristen one last time, at her funeral services. ='0(

Friends of Life

Friends come and friends go. Friends give life and friends die.

Today was a day if supreme bittersweetness. Early this morning I was told that a friend from high school was killed in a motorcycle accident yesterday evening. Kristen was one of the most genuine people I know. She was kind and compassionate. The world was a better place for having her and a worse place for losing her. Kristen -- you will forever be remembered and loved by all who had the pleasure of knowing you.

I then had to leave to run some errands. While out and about as I traveled down a side road in Clarion I noticed a girl standing on the curd waiting to cross the street. From afar she looked familiar and as I got closer I saw that it was indeed a friend from high school. She was wearing some odd uniform for a gas station. I just passed silently.

While I was out running my errands and attending an appointment, I ran into McDonald's to grab a large number two when I heard someone say my name. I turned around to find a friend from high school who had just give birth to her second child since graduation. Though grieving for Kristen I couldn't help but to be happy for Jess. She, herself was so happy.

Life is so full of irony but it takes the situations that really slap us in the face for us to notice how ironic life truly can be. In matter of 24 hours I felt the beginning of a death to a friendship as I felt the urge to revitalize lost ones. Then I feel the death of a friend and the joys of parenthood of a friend all the while noticing and old friend along the side lines watching as my life rolls along. We don't always have the time that we think we do. This just strengthens my point that people need to start reconsidering where their loyalties are within relationships; start swallowing their pride before their pride swallows their friends/family. Don't let your friends slip to the side lines. You need more players on the field than you do cheerleaders and spectators. I guess it's time for me to do a role call once and for all.


(This song just fits so much in many different ways.)
~*~My Immortal~*~

I'm so tired of being here.
Suppressed by all my childhood fears.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.
Cause your presence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.
You used to captivate me by your resonating mind,
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice has chased away all the sanity in me.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.

The happenings of today aren't much more exciting than the happening of any other day. Like a lot of other days I went to see a movie, Godsend. What an interesting movie -- freaky. I'm not sure scary, but definitely freaky. Other than that I just started to clean my room and get it organized and ready for my departure. My brother is staking claims to my room while I'm away. I figure he can have it. He stayed in it while I was away in the military, so why not again. I'm not going to pack up the entire room, just a lot of the little small stuff as to get things out of the way so he has room to move around and decorate a little himself. Besides it'll be easier for mom to ship my stuff if I decide not to come back. =P

As the days go on and the more thinking I do, I'm coming to the decision that it'll be a lot easier to move to Orlando than I originally thought. Daily I see less and less for me here and more and more for me there. There are few things/people that are remaining constant cons about going. Two are and forever will be my mother and Daniel. My two closest and dearest friends. My mother has been the only thing in my life that wasn't an inconsistency. In the raging rapids of life she has always been the rock on which I could stand upon. So many people have walked in and out of my life and heart as if a revolving door were attached to me. There are very few people that I can count on and trust will be there for me when I need them but my mother is at the top of the list. Our relationship hasn't always been the greatest and she retains her faults but we all have them. The key is to be able to over look those faults and realize how much our life can benefit from allowing the person to shower us with as much love and friendship as they can. You hear the old cliche, "Good friends are hard to come by and just as hard to lose", all the time. It's wrong. Good friends are easy to come by and just as easy to lose. It only takes a mutual understanding that a great friendship takes patience, work, and compassion as well as a 50-50 input into the friendship. If one person is even slightly considering that the friendship can be dissolved over something petty and small then it will never work. If you still stand firmly by the old cliche that good friends are hard to come by then why do people let those great friendships falter and fail? It they're so precious then why not fight to hold onto it? This goes for friends and family alike. People need to reconsider where their priorities in their relationships with people stand. If they truly aren't worth a fight to keep then why bother holding on at all?


Shut the door
take a look around and tell me what you find.
Shut the door
take a giant step for you and all mankind.
Then don't come back
I always gave you so much more than you deserve
No don't come back
'cause no one makes a fool of me
You've got a nerve to walk away
mark the words I'm gonna say
you just made a big mistake.

Party

I didn't post last night because I wasn't home. Kacy threw me a going away party. I had such a great time. People don't throw me parties all that often. It seems to me that my birthday is only a big deal to me and no one else. To everyone else it's just another day. I get bitter thinking about it sometimes because I remember times when I had a hand in throwing birthday parties for a few people and you would think that they would have the decency to return the kindness. I guess I expect to much of people but is it to much to expect a friend to show some interest in my birthday. ~Anyway~ Daniel and I had gone to Kacy's family's other house way up in the woods. Daniel loves and wants to buy it (Kacy's family is thinking of selling it because they're moving to Florida). It was fun Kacy. Thank You.

Today Daniel and I went to Perkins for lunch and rented a couple of movies to watch. He picked up "The Core" and I picked up "Donnie Darko". I'm a big fan of great disaster movies where the world is coming to an end so I enjoyed "The Core". As for "Donnie Darko" it's one of those movies that's impossible to explain. You have to see it for yourself and be able to get it. It's a little rough to follow but by the end everything comes together and yet you still need to think about what happened. Interesting movie. It had a good cast (Patrick Swayze, Drew Barrymore, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jake Gyllenhaal, & Jena Malone). It has some existential qualities to it... it's a thinking movie. After that Daniel went home and I worked on cleaning my room a bit before sitting down to check my email and here I am.

I would also like to address something else that I have recently perceived more than usual. Apparently people think I'm an idiot and that they can take advantage of me with me never realizing it. Well I'm not an idiot and I notice that you are going to screw me over. I don't say anything because it usually happens when I am dependent upon the person for some reason or other. Therefore if I said anything then I'd get screwed anyway, so I needed to decide which screwing would be less painful and more enjoyable.

Florida is 16 days away and looking better and better everyday. The only thing I'm going to hate leaving would be my immediate family because I know I'll not get to see them until I return, as well as Daniel. He hasn't decided if he'll be down to visit or not. Kacy said she'll see me over Christmas break. It's great to have one on board and I'm sure Kacy and I will have a blast swimming with the dolphins and attempting to surf. =P